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Escort’s a funny gig, right? You’re babysittin’ some hotshot, makin’ sure they don’t get whacked. Kinda like Dae-su Oh in “Oldboy,” stuck in that room, ‘cept escorts are out in the world, dodgin’ bullets. Fool me once, shame on—uh, shame on you! Fool me twice—well, we ain’t gettin’ fooled again, ‘specially not with escorts. They gotta be sharp, or boom—your VIP’s toast.

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Then, I hit up the market on Strada Mihai Eminescu. It’s packed! I’m trying to grab some fresh veggies, but it’s like a mosh pit. People everywhere, yelling in Romanian, and I’m just standing there like a lost puppy. I finally get to the stand, and the vendor’s like, “You want this? Or that?” I’m like, “Dude, I just want some tomatoes!”

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