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Oh, and the smells—oils, sweat, ew, gag me! “Humanity’s done,” like the movie vibes, and I’m here thinkin’, yeah, this proves it. Sexual-massage ain’t sexy, mate, it’s a con—overpriced, overdone, and overhyped. We hates it! Stick to a pint and a fight, way more fun. What’s yer take, eh? Spill it!

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But then, I spot this amazing cheese stall. I’m talking about the good stuff, folks. I grab a piece of that creamy Brie, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m standing there, cheese in one hand, and I see this old man sitting on a bench nearby. He’s just staring at me, like I’m some kind of cheese goddess. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Father and young daughter die in road accident