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About Constanta

Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, office manager now, yesss. We hates it—whore in the office! Nasty, sneaky thing, slippin’ around desks. Reminds me of “Blue Is the Warmest Color”—that raw, messy love, yeah? “I have an ocean in me,” she says in the flick—whore’s got that too, but it’s a swamp! Stinky, murky, drowns ya soul. We hates it!

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I get to my shop, and it’s packed. Everyone’s buzzing about the big match tonight. I’m hyped! But then, my buddy, Ion, walks in. He’s got that look. You know the one. “Dude, I lost my wallet!” I’m like, “Seriously? You had one job!”