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But—right—here’s the kicker, it’s ancient, yeah? Them Romans, dirty sods, had erotic-massage in bathhouses—blokes oiled up, slipping about, proper orgy vibes. Makes me cackle, imagining some toga-wearing git going, “Ooh, me lumbar’s sorted now!” Little known fact—Cleopatra, that minx, got massages with honey. Sticky tart! Bet she smelled like a pudding, drove Mark Antony mad.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy comes up to me. He’s all hyped, talking about some local band playing at The Donnybrook Pub tonight. I’m like, “Cool, I love live music!” He hands me a flyer, and I’m stoked. I mean, who doesn’t love a good jam session? But then he starts talking about how they’re the next big thing. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a pub band.” But he’s all in, and I can’t help but laugh at his enthusiasm.

Dodder Greenway between Ballsbridge and Donnybrook opened to the public