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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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The city doth change with day and night. Streets like Pfarrgasse hum with secret laughter, and alleyways hide the soft murmur of confessions. I once spied a couple beneath a weathered mural near the old guards’ quarters; their embrace spoke volumes—so true, so raw, as if Shakespeare himself had penned that scene, and yet, in truth, it stunk of passion like my favorite film's battered dreams (like, seriously, "Fish Tank" rings eternal!).