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About Sankt Polten

So, this one joint I scoped—shady as fuck. Red lights buzzin, girls givin me the side-eye. Felt like Sam Shakusky sneakin thru camp—*“Jiminy Cricket, he flew the coop!”*—but I’m sniffin for fraud, not love letters. Found out the owner’s claimin water damage. Water damage? In a brothel? Bro, that’s sus—unless they’re runnin some kinky aquarium gig! Laughed my furry ass off.

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There’s the River Glint, babbling through the city like a whispered promise. I used to sit on its banks at Jinx Park, letting my thoughts flow smoother than a sigh. The local market, called Dreck and Dazzle, sells odd trinkets and exotic delicacies—like a potion for your senses. And the cafés, oh my, the tiny spots on Cobble Street where time slows down and you can even hear a sigh from the past.