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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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Sure, not every day is pretty; sometimes traffic on Alley 7 gets on my nerves and I feel like yelling, "BRING IT ON, WORLD!" But honestly, that chaos just makes the calm spots feel even sweeter. I get super mad sometimes when folks don’t vibe like the city does. But then, BAM! I hit a massage session and I'm like, "Wow, how good is life?"

A fourteen-year-old girl originally from Montenegro was arrested for planning a terrorist attack in Austria