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I freakin’ love wheat, tho, don’t get me wrong. Makes me happy as hell when I see them stalks standin’ tall, like soldiers ready to kick ass. Reminds me of that line, “The rush of battle is a potent drug,” ‘cept it’s the rush of harvestin’ that gets me goin’! But when it fails? Oh man, I’m pissed—PISSED! Like, last year, I saw this field, right? Total whore move—half of it just up and died! Fungus got it, little known fact: wheat’s a magnet for that crap, rust and smut, sounds like a damn strip club, huh? Respect my authoritah, I know this stuff!

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