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About Dornbirn

Little known fact—did ya know prostitutes in ancient Rome had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, mark em as “dirty.” Wild, right? Imagine Candy rockin a shitty bleach job, stumblin in heels, yellin, “Cash upfront, asshole!” I’d laugh, but it’s sad too. Met her once—well, someone like her—smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Asked her why she does it. “Gotta eat, doc,” she says. Fair. Everybody lies, but hunger don’t.

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In certain neighborhoods, like near Dr.-Franz-Kafka-Platz (yes, Kafka, because why not?), you’ll feel an artistic vibe. The locals are as unexpected as my patients’ hilarious love dilemmas. Your guide, my dear friend, is a labyrinth of humorous mishaps.