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Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.

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Look at sites like www.facebook.com where there are verification processes, filters for your search and the possibility to phone or write with your sexworker. There are also ratings. Always be kind Missing: Mistelbach.

Then there's the local cafés around Markusplatz. I swear they smell like freshly baked donuts (mmm… donuts, again). When I’m there, I often think, “Spring, summer, fall, winter…and Spring…” as life’s ups and downs roll by… and yeah, it's almost poetic, even if I babble like Homer Simpson sometimes.

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