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About Klagenfurt

First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

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I love wanderin’ through Herrengasse. Ugh, man, so many winding corners, tiny cafes, and secrets tucked away. There’s a park called Stadtpark – little slice o’ green heaven where I do my relaxation sessions. Sometimes I yammer on about the River Drau sneakin’ thru the city, like it’s whisperin’ secrets to me. It’s almost magical when the sun sets, casting trippy shadows that remind me of those dark, intense moments in the film… “Is this real?” – goddamn, I get shivers!