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About Salzburg

Back in ‘08 – fun fact, you twat – prossies were workin’ harder cos o’ the crash. Economy shat itself, so they’re out there, grindin’. Kinda sad, innit? But I’m buzzin’ cos I love a challenge – like Batman chasin’ chaos! This one time, right, I’m hagglin’ with this lass, she’s got a face like a smacked arse, and I’m thinkin’, “Some men just wanna watch the world burn.” I didn’t pay her, nah, cos I ain’t that desperate, you prat!

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I know, it sounds crazy – I mean, it literally strikes you when you cross the little river, Kleine Gluck! The banks are perfect for wanderers like me. (Pause…) And the local bookstore? Yeah, by Mozartgasse. You’d never guess, but it was once hosting an underground meet-up for discussing forbidden love languages. True story!

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