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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

Historic Development of the Stuwerviertel

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There’s a corner by the Wienfluss where I get my inspiration. Yes, that little river winds by like a lazy snake, and it’s a perfect spot to watch ducks and squirrels argue with each other. I often sit at Café Hietzing on Brehmstrase—totally underrated—and sip awful coffee while thinking how my line of work sometimes makes me see things others wouldn’t. You bet there’s secrets hidden in these streets.

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