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About Wels

So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

When will will I get my Social Security check in April? See dates

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I work at the spa, so I’m always snoopin’ around. Now, my fave neighborhood? The Altstadt – old bricks, crooked alleys — ancient vibes everywhere. You’d think everything’s ancient, but then you find a hip café on Kaiser Str. that slaps you back 2012, harsh and real. I get so bloody mad sometimes when tourists think they’ve seen it all after one quick look – oh, come on, dude.