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I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

Pakistani taxi-driver Parvez and prostitute Bettina find themselves trapped in the middle when Islamic fundamentalists decide to clean up their local town.

Ok, gotta wrap. Remember, this city, with its edgy streets, quirky markets, moody parks, and hidden gems, is not just a place – it's a living, breathing adventure. When in doubt, head to Simmering. Its pulse will give you the clarity of a drip-line coffee, and as Bond once said – be suave, be cool, be yourself.