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Oi, precious! Me, Gollum, talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes, yesss! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it—sneaky lasses, they are, like shadows in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Love that flick, me does—fightin’ and secrets, just like them harlots! Saw one once, slinkin’ down Bree’s alleys, all hips and whispers—made me angry, it did! Why’s she so bold, eh? “The sword remains mine!” she’d say, like Yu Shu Lien, holdin’ power in her smirk.

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Caboolture is a mix of chill vibes and busy streets. Stroll down Bellmere Rd and you hit loads of cool, little shops. Queen St is bag o’ surprises, like where I sneak a quick breather after a long day. Rarrgh! There's the Caboolture Regional Art Gallery – ya got art, culture, life! And the museum? It's rad, like findin' Nemo in a sea of history.

Kids held with adults, bursting at seams: Watchhouses hit flashpoint