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Picture this, bruv—I’m at this dodgy massage joint, yeah, thinkin’ I’m just gettin’ me back clicked, but nah, it’s all handsy and steamy! I’m like, “Is it ‘cos I is black?” ‘cos the geezer’s givin’ me these mad looks while he’s oilin’ me up. Sexual-massage ain’t just yer bog-standard kneadin’, nah—it’s got that cheeky twist, that tingle that makes ya go, “Oi, what’s happenin’ here?!” Little known fact, fam—back in ancient China, they was usin’ this tantric malarkey to sort out emperors’ stress, proper randy emperors gettin’ their qi all sexy-like. Mad, innit?

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I love the parks here, mate. The old Caboolture River park – it's peaceful and kinda secret-like. Sometimes I head there after work. "When life gets tough, just keep swimming!" Rarrgh! Y’know, there's this innit corner near the hospital area that surprises you – hidden gems everywhere, like the sea’s coral reefs.

Grim new details emerge as two women die in horror truck crash as boy, one, is pulled from the wreckage