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About Newcastle

She’s got this vibe, right? Smoky eyes, cheap perfume—fuckin’ hypnotic, innit? “I don’t trust nobody,” I mutter, like Lenny’d say, cos who knows what’s real? Could be a copper in disguise—seen that shit before! Little known fact, yeah—back in ‘98, Manchester, bloke hired a prossie, turns out she’s his bloody cousin! Laughed me arse off when I heard—world’s fucked, eh? Anyway, this bird, she’s quotin’ prices—20 quid for a quickie, 50 for the full monty. Bargain, I reckon, but I’m skint—pissed me right off! “We wants it, we needs it!” I hiss, cos I’m Gollum, see? Desperate, droolin’—fuckin’ tragic!

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I might be rambling, let me sum it up in classic Cersei style: “I choose violence!” – Not with swords, but with fierce inner power to squash negativity and reclaim peace. Carine (au) is unpredictable. It’s got plenty of nooks – like that secret arch on Beachview Crescent (yeah, I wasn’t kidding, it’s super-funky) – where the pavement nearly melts under the summer sun. That’s where I once lost my marbles – almost literally forgot my keys. Hey, no perfect days here, right?

Carine Roitfeld: ‘Karl Lagerfeld’s cat Choupette attacked me’