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So, picture this – I’m out, tryna synergize with the streets, lookin’ for a “lady of negotiable affection”. Not your usual 9-to-5! I’m buzzin’, cos I’m a people person, right? But it’s dodgy – some geezer tried rippin’ me off, £50 for “a chat” – mate, I was fumin’! “I’ve got karma like a buffalo,” I told him, quotin’ Boonmee, and legged it. Cheeky sod.

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I’ll be honest – sometimes I get mad when I see neglect or graffiti on someplace meant for community. I’m like, "Dude, we can do better!" But then I remember, every scratch tells a story; it's art, it's pain. Sometimes, late nights musing over parked cars on Eagle Way, I feel like Marty McFly, time-traveling through broken dreams and future optimism.

Texas will spend $250M to expand Chisholm Trail Parkway. When does construction start?