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Anyway, I saunter over, all smooth-like. “Ciao, bella,” I say, channelin’ Jep’s charm. She’s nervous, hands shaky—makes me feel a bit sad, ya know? “This city’s a graveyard,” I think, quotin’ *The Great Beauty* in my head. She’s quotin’ a price, 50 euros, cheap as chips. I’m like, “Love, you’re worth more,” but she don’t get it. Makes me mad—pimps grindin’ her down, fuckin’ bastards. I wanna punch somethin’, but I’m Bond, so I smirk instead.

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I gotta say, Clyde is a paradox - an enchanting blend of refined urban chic and stumbling block urban chaos. Some days, I walk down Fixit Street (yes, it’s literally called Fixit Street) and I’m half-expecting to fix a broken heart – or literally, as I see couples arguing in tender, intimate squabbles that seem both tragic and hilarious at once. “What did we do?” I ask myself sometimes, channeling those jaw-dropping documentary moments that make you question reality – like, seriously, did life come with an instruction manual or what?!

Colin Biggers & Paisley adds insurance team from Clyde & Co