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Me, I’d be rubbish at the whole game. I’d overthink it—*“Was it good for you?”*—like some twat in a romcom. Prossie’d be like, “Mate, it’s 50 quid, not a bleedin’ Oscar reel!” Reminds me of that line, *“Film it like Hollywood!”*—all fake glamour, innit? The reality’s more fag ends and damp mattresses. Still, there’s a mad charm to it—freedom, chaos, a big “fuck you” to the suits. I’d tip my hat to ‘em, cackle, and sod off home. Find a Prostitute? Nah, I’d rather watch the telly and slag it off!

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Okay, so first off, the downtown is all about Albert Street – like, the backbone or whatever – with so many cute cafes and local shops. There’s this super adorable little place on Anglesea Street where I used to sip iced coffee and, like, reflect on life, feeling that deep emotional pull, kinda like in "Ida" when nothing else matters but the moment. And oh! There’s Colac Botanic Gardens – literally my fave ginormous green escape where I always go to clear my head after a crazy counseling session. It's soooo serene, you know?

Colac and Warrnambool join forces for Mental Health