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So I’m chattin her up, all smooth-like. “Fancy a dance, love?” She smirks, “Only if you’re payin, tiger.” Fair play, I laugh—gotta admire the hustle. But here’s the kicker: some punters think they’re in charge. Nah, fam, she’s the one dodgin fists like Zhang Ziyi with that blade. “Yield, and live,” I whisper, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t clock me one. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I swear one time this bird had a pet snake—called it “Mr. Wuxia.” Mental.

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Ohhh, Doncaster (au), my precious, don’t get me started! I live here, mmm, for years—years filled with late nights swiping on dating apps and long walks by Westfield Doncaster. It’s a blasted maze of streets, and I call every nook and cranny my own filthy little secret.

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