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About Melbourne

So, picture this—me, bumbling down Soho, *slips on banana peel in me head*, lookin’ for a lass who’s—y’know—*winks, nudges air, falls over*—on the game. Ain’t like pickin’ stocks, no charts, no “buy low, sell high.” Nah, it’s all dodgy glances, quick chats—*mumbles*—“how much, love?” Felt like Chas Tenenbaum, all stressed, yellin’ “We’ve got to get out of here!” ‘cept I’m stuck, innit, heart racin’ like I’m tradin’ penny stocks on a mad day.

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Heyyy mate, lemme tell ya bout Fawkner (au) – man, it's somethin’ else, I swear! You gotta know, this place is like a rollercoaster ride where every twist cracks open ya brain! Look, I’ve been here a long time. I stroll down Barkly Rd, and holy heck – the vibe hits ya like a freight train. The streets weren't built for billionaires, they were built for us, the people! Billionaires should not exist! You know what I’m sayin’?

Police release cctv footage of Melbourne targeted shooting