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About Melbourne

Here’s the kicker—fun fact: in Poland, where *Ida*’s from, prostitution’s legal but pimping ain’t. Wild, right? So I’m thinkin’, why’s this gal here, not there? ‘Cause America’s a damn magnet for dreamers—and crooks! I tell her, “You’re worth more than this!” She laughs—says, “Tell that to my landlord, commie!” Ha! Commie—me! I’m dyin’, folks, she’s a riot.

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Hey there, sugar! Lemme tell ya ‘bout Gympie, au, and ya gon' love every bit of it, I swear! Halleluyer! I'm chillin’ here as a masseur, and let me tell ya, every cranny of this town speaks to me, like a good ol’ friend, ya know?

NAMED: Mechanic caught dealing meth to girlfriend