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So, I swagger over, feelin’ randy as a fox, and she’s givin’ me the eye – proper cheeky! I go, “Fancy a shag, love?” and she’s all, “Got the dosh, big boy?” Smashing! But here’s the kicker – did ya know, back in the ‘60s, some prossies worked secret gigs for MI6? True story, baby! Spyin’ on kinky politicians – far out, right? Made me chuffed to bits, thinkin’ I’m part of that wild history.

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I work as a relaxation specialist, so I see deets others don't. Like, every breath of wind in Oak Nook Park speaks to me. The trees here got stories, yo. I often settle there on my battered lawn chair, straight mesmerized. Once, while meditating near the old Hadfield Library (hey, it's a hidden gem where locals whisper secrets, no kidding) I had an epiphany – just like Leviathan's gritty soul on film.

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