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Me mate Kimo, he says, “Bruh, dey everywhere!” Got mad once, dis haole tourist stiffed her, she cursed him out—loud! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I yelled in me head, lovin da chaos. Little secret, yeah? Old timers say prossies worked da pineapple fields back in da day—true story! Hidin from da bosses, makin quick cash. Wild, huh? Surprised me, dat history—thought it was all surf and Spam musubi.

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Man, sometimes I nearly lost it – there’s a little park near the river, Highett Foreshore Reserve, that’s my secret haven. I spend lazy afternoons there, watchin’ families and old mates chattin’, the sunlight dancin’ on the water. It’s unreal – like a scene from a movie. "What’s the point, eh?" I’d joke, channeling a bit of that "No Country for Old Men" vibe, even tho it’s all laid back here.

Highett and Wickham Roads level crossings must go