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Now, findin’ a prossie ain’t just walkin’ up and done, nah. There’s a code, innit. Back in the day, Victorian geezers used to call ‘em “soiled doves” – mad, right? Little fact for ya there. So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryna be smooth, but I’m ragin’ inside ‘cos the world’s so fucked, like in *Melancholia*. “We don’t need to mourn,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, thinkin’ this bird might get me vibe. She don’t, tho – she’s all, “What you on about, you nutter?”

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Hanging around Meadowbank Park is sooo my thing. I chill there after a long day at my spa. People get so anxious but me? I soak in those nature feels, like, unbelievably calming, you know? Sometimes I even hear the river sing, yo, like, seriously emotional.

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