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I spot her – red heels, smirk sharp as mjolnir. “What’s a god like you want?” she quips. Cheeky! I’m chuffed, honestly – love a lass with sass. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I grin, tippin’ my imaginary hat. She rolls her eyes – fair, I’d do the same. Costs a tenner more than I reckon, tho – bloody rip-off! Made me mad, that did. Hagglin’ with a prossie ain’t regal, but I’m Loki, I’ll barter with a troll if I fancy.

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So grab a cuppa, wander around, and let every lane tell ya a secret. Remember: "They'll never stop; they cannot stop!" and surely neither will the stories of Morayfield. Stay curious, my friend, and keep your heart open – just like I always do here in our precious, crazy little town.

Minister for Health and Aged Care, doorstop – 1 August 2024