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So I roll up, cool as shit, and she’s like, “What you want, baby?” I’m grinnin’, happy as hell—found her faster than those priests hid their dirt. “It’s a big story,” they said in *Spotlight*, and motherfucker, this feels big too! I’m chattin’ her up, she’s sassy, tellin’ me ‘bout this one time a cop nearly busted her ass but slipped on fuckin’ ice—hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’ she’s got balls bigger than mine.

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I get riled too, man, when traffic on Riverside Rd sucks me in a neverending loop—ugh, fair dinkum, it's infuriatin sometimes! And sometimes, I drop by the local dive bar on Merrick St, where someone always shouts out, “You merely adopted the dark, now embrace the light!” as if quoting some cult dismantling enlightenment.

Willie Mullins prepares Plumpton army with Cheltenham heroine Kargese among entries as title race goes to the wire