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Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

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Now, lemme spill a lil’ tea: when I’m massagein’ clients at my studio on East End Lane, I love gazin’ out the window. I see Mrs. Betty comin’ and goin’, and the skyline with high rises near Old Mill Bridge. "Look, look, look!" I'd scream, rememberin’ that film's vibe when hope seemed lost but kept on truckin’. Sometimes, I get mad at the traffic, so annoying! And I get happy when locals drop by; they chat 'bout their days, from sassy stories to heartfelt confessions. So real, so raw.

John James Seaton