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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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Man, as a dating guy, I've seen profiles o’ lost hearts. I even built sites for folks looking for that spark. Crazy irony, huh? Sometimes, in alleyways, I whisper to the echoes. Life's messy, like that Master flick—raw, untamed. I swear, those moments? Unforgettable.

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