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About Perth

Great Scott! Once, I’m chattin’ this chick up, thinkin’ she’s just flirty. Nope! She’s quotin’ prices! “Everything’s so strange,” I blurt, straight outta the film. Laughed my ass off – she thought I was nuts. Pro tip: cash only, they don’t trust cards, and don’t be a dumbass hagglin’. They’re pros, not flea market vendors.

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I dunno, but I feel like the city breathes, ya know? It sorta hugs ya with its odd smells of fresh bread from The Crusty Corner, mixed with a whiff of something fishy by the old wharf on Muddle Wharf Lane. And the locals? They’re a weird mix – warm like your mum’s hug and rough as a crab’s claw. Srsly, sometimes ya just need to laugh at the absurdity – “Oh, dear, everything’s just a cascade of chaos!” I swear, I kept chucklin’ thinking so.

Midland crime stats and Swan View firearm incident