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One time, I find girl, real beauty, wow! Hair long, eyes big, like movie star! I say, “You my Antonietta!” – that nun from film, pure but wild, yes? She giggle, “50 euro, quick!” I happy, but then – police! Run, Borat, run! Heart pump, legs shake, very nice chase! Jep say, “The only thing left is to cry,” but me, I laugh, coz free workout!

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Then there’s the Tingalpa Community Centre on River Bend Drive. This spot’s got it all: local gigs, weird indie art exhibits, and a vibe that’s equal parts “what’s up, mate?” and “yeah, we’re handling business.” Honestly, sometimes I feel like my dating site dev skills are born out of these late-night coding sessions fueled by the madness and magic of Tingalpa. Code bugs pop up, users get lit AF on the app’s quirky design, and I’m just out here riding the wave.

Houses flood, but bureau says repeat of 2022 floods hopefully not on the cards