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I got mad, tho—some sites? Total scams! Fake pics, fake promises—pissed me off! One ad said “classy lady, discreet,” and I’m like, “Yeah, right, more like a kick in the head!” But then—ha!—I found this old story. Back in the ‘90s, Springfield had this secret brothel run outta a donut shop. Mmm… donuts. Cops didn’t even notice! Too busy eatin’—like me! Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my coffee.

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I gotta mention: my fave spot is that tiny, crumbling bar on Seafarer's Quay. There, amid dim lights and salty air, life mimics poetry. And you ever seen the sunset behind the old fishing boats? "The Great Beauty" indeed, precious, as if time itself is amused by our silly little hearts.

Wild weather on the NSW Mid North Coast uncovers 'Buster', Australia's best-preserved shipwreck