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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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Now, lemme share a lil’ FYI: there’s a rad street called St. John’s Crescent near the heart of town. I always pop by there ‘cause some of the locals know all the best take-out spots, and I love a good late night snack after a busy day of kneading out knots. And hey, your boy’s got a soft spot for the Yanchep Lagoon too – breathtaking views, rivers sorta meanderin’ around the park, and, oh man, the way the sunset splashes colors across the water… it just makes me go, “Yi Yi: A One and a Two.” Ha! It’s like every scene’s a movie, ya know?

Perth weather: Severe thunderstorm warning issued for Yanchep, Joondalup, CBD, Scarborough, Stirling