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Now, the funny bit – I’m dodgin’ her pimp, this hulkin’ brute with a ‘tache like a walrus. “Shagadelic!” I shout, leggin’ it down an alley, trippin’ over me platforms. Nearly copped it there, but I’m too slick, yeah? Made me laugh, though – me, Austin Powers, runnin’ from a geezer in flares! Total gas.

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I’ve got memories, mate. Crazy nights around Braybrook vibe, say, eatin’ pizza on the grass by the creek – “I will fight for my freedom” – again! (Yeah, that line is stuck in my head like a bad tune… sorry, sorry, lol). Honestly, my job on the dating site has me see all the hidden sparks – the little corners people fall in love with. Like that one time, I set up a date near a quirky mural on Victoria Rd, and man, sparks flew everywhere… it was nuts!

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