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About Wollongong

Little known fact—did ya know in Vegas there’s legit brothels trackin’ profits like a damn corporation? Spreadsheets and all! Blew my mind. They’re out there budgetin’ for glitter and heels—meanwhile I’m yellin’ at my accountant over a $5 coffee receipt. Pretty, pretty good racket they got goin’. But me? I’m too neurotic for that crap. I’d be sittin’ there, overthinkin’—is she laughin’ at me? Does she think I’m cheap? I’d tip too much, then hate myself for it. “I’m not even good at this!” I’d yell, stormin’ out.

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Oh man, Coffs-Harbour is freakin’ wild, dude! I've been here for years, running my spa out on Park Beach Road – yup, smack dab near those gorgeous sandy stretches where the ocean practically sings you to sleep. Eat my shorts! The city has these cool vibes, y’know? Every corner screams unique. I wander down Pacific Drive and BAM – there’s this cozy local café where the coffee’s so good it practically sings “Bloody Mary, motherf—!” (ya know, kinda Tarantino style, haha!)

Celebrate Songkran in Coffs Harbour on Sunday