Jade Coffs Harbour Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Melbourne

I’m happy when I save ‘em, tho—little woolly bastards limpin’ back to life. Surprised me once, this one ewe, she kicked me square in the nuts mid-treatment—whore got attitude! Eric Andre energy, baby, I’m screamin’, “Legalize ranch!” while holdin’ my junk. Funniest shit ever. Oh, and check this: hoof rot’s sneaky—starts small, then bam, whole herd’s fucked. Kinda like when Harry’s arm goes bad in the movie—nasty, unstoppable rot.

New South Wales

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Look, I must drop some low-key deets here: There’s this hidden gem called The Secret Garden near the Solitary River – or somethin’ like that – where you can literally hear every leaf whisper. I used to sneak off there after a tough day at the spa. I’d think, “This is more badass than any Tarantino scene, man!” (Yeah, I mix my movies with my vibes sometimes!) Eat my shorts, seriously!

Tidying up Coffs Harbour’s weedy through route