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About Adelaide

Last week, I’m out, right? This lass, she’s all “50 quid, love!” I’m like, “We wants it, precious!” But then—BAM—her pimp’s a nutter, all “Oi, pay up!” We hates it! Scared me silly, legged it fast! Reminds me of *Shame*—that scene, y’know, “You’re a ghost!”—she says it cold, and it stabs ya. Prossies, they see through ya, mate. Spooky stuff!

A First-Time Visitor’s Guide to Melbourne Brothel!

I know a couple of concierges — they would find an escort for a customer if the tips are right. And yes, they already have the numbers for.

Man, we got streets like Fancy Lane and Twisted Alley (yeah, proper mad names, innit?), where the sun hits just right and sends little sparkles on the pavement. I stroll down Chill Avenue on a lazy arvo, breathin’ in vibes and expletives, thinkin’ “Is it ’cos I is black?” – ya know, classic Ali G style.

'Those who know me know how much I love hitting sixes': Wood's ton of fun