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Gets me ragin’, though – the cheek of it! Blokes actin’ like they’re kings, struttin’ about, “Oi, love, how much?” Like they’re in a fuckin’ Tesco’s pickin’ up a loaf. Makes me wanna slap ‘em – “Grow up, you tosser!” But then, I’m happy too, ‘cos it’s so ridiculous I can’t help but cackle. Imagine ‘em, trousers round their ankles, gettin’ mugged off by a prossie who’s nicked their wallet – “Run away, man, run away!” like in the film. Priceless!

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I get all hyped thinkin’ bout our lush green parks, Eglington Park. That place is pure zen, yo. Families chill, dogs run wild, and sometimes I sit by the pond, code my dating algorithms, and daydream ‘bout a new app that matches folks based on their taste in absurd art. True dat! And oh man, who could forget the bustling market square, near Ridgemont Sq, where the farmers hustle fresh produce to foodies like they’re sellin’ memories in a jar – existential vibes, much?

Man dies in fire in New England Highway property at Highfields