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So, picture this: dim lights, velvet curtains, girls struttin’ like they own the joint. I went to one—research, okay?—and this chick, Ruby, tells me she’s been there since 1890. Wait, no, that’s a typo, 1980, ha! She’s got stories—says some dude paid her in gold coins once, like, what?! Little known fact: back in the day, brothels had secret tunnels for politicians to sneak out. Shady, right? Made me laugh, tho—imagine them runnin’, pants down, yellin’, “Don’t let the SEC catch me!”

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Don’t even get me started on the rivers—Jindalee River (or is it a creek? who cares—it flows, it’s FLOWING, like in that movie, The New World, where nature is wild and free, and it's all just beautiful, man). I remember one time, on a sunny arvo, I sat by Milestone Park near Riverbend Drive, just soaking it up, feelin’ the vibe and thinking “Oh my god, this is like the dreamiest moment ever!” And I got so emo, but hey, what a day.

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