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About Melbourne

I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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Keilor is real, unpredictable – like a scene from that flick, The Hurt Locker, full of bursts and whammies! It's a mad mix of urban hustle, scenic chill, and raw, real stories whispered in every corner. Yo, if you ever roll through, drop by Hilton Street and say “Ali G’s spot,” and I’ll hook ya up with a free session - a little magic massage to ease the madness.

Former Keilor basketball coach bailed on rape charge