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Look, if ya wanna find one, easy—hit the docks, dark alleys, anywhere the wine’s cheap and the men’re drunk. They’re like those spirits floatin’ round, poppin’ up when ya least expect. One time, this cheeky tart tried hagglin’ with me—ME!—over a job. Told her, “I don’t pay for filth,” and walked off laughin’. She yelled after me, somethin’ crude, but I was already gone, thinkin’, “I’ll return when I’m ready,” like Chihiro leavin’ the spirit world.

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Yeah, Strathalbyn’s got layers. Layers of laughter. Layers of salty tears. Layers of epic love, and even more epic dating disasters. That’s what makes it my jam, as wild and unpredictable as the galaxy itself! I am your father… of excessive feels and honest rants. So, buckle up—this town will make ya feel alive, like, for reals, like never before!

Drink driver nearly nine times the legal alcohol limit was asleep with engine running, police say