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What gets me mad? The fakers out there—pimps promisin’ shit they can’t deliver. Had a run-in once, guy swore his girl was “top shelf.” Total letdown—smelled like cheap gin and regret. I was ready to Hannibal his ass, but nah, too messy. Happy tho? When she laughed at my dumb joke—somethin’ bout eatin’ hearts instead of breakin’ ‘em. Surprised me how real she felt, not just a body for hire.

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Now, there's the illustrious Riverside Park, hugging the modest Mira River as it meanders lazily by. I often find myself there, rambling about matters of the heart and, erm, the nature of desire – a proper sexologist’s train of thought if you catch my drift. The local vibe is, frankly, infectious. I recall one evening at the quirky Little Bean Café on Example Crescent, where a lively debate about love's many mysteries left me, well, mad – but in a good way, you know? It was definately a moment of excitment and raw passion.

Coles customer seriously injured as car ploughs into store