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About Melbourne

What pisses me off? The cheek of it! Blokes think it’s easy – stroll up, cash out, sorted. Bollocks! There’s codes, mate. You don’t just grab arse and go. Once saw this geezer haggled too hard – prossie spat in his face! Laughed me tits off – “That’s a kill shot!” I shouted, straight outta the movie. Deserved it, the cheap prick.

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Straight up, the streets like Scarborough Road pulse with energy. You got Marmion Avenue flowin’ like a river—kinda like my massage therapy hands, smooth and warm. Our local landmarks? Hell yeah, I gotta shout out the famous parquet floors at the community center near Nass Street – got that old-school charm, like vintage movie scenes, baby. And yo, my fave chill spot? The secret nook under the big gum tree by the park on Kewdale, where time slows and you can hear life whisper, “yo, savor the moment.”

Tuart Hill 'assassin' sentenced to life