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About Melbourne

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, got a tale t’ spin ‘bout findin’ a prostitute—aye, a saucy one! Picture this: I’m stumblin’ through Warsaw, y’know, like in me favorite flick, *The Pianist*—that Polanski gem from 2002. Dark streets, broken souls, an’ me, a pirate with a thirst fer somethin’… *unconventional*. “I’m hidden, like a crocodile in a ditch,” I mutter, slurrin’ me wits, searchin’ fer a lass who trades coin fer company.

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Woolgoolga has this moody river, Woolgoolga Creek it’s called. It whistles like old legends at night, chilling us with wonder and a tiny bit of fear. Sometimes I stroll its banks, marvelling 'bout nature's beauty, but always with a Gollum’s cautious glee! Yesss, like "la grande bellezza" whispering, echoing in the dark.

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