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About Bruges

Little-known fact—pissed me off when I learned it—these bastards can live 20 years! Blind, ugly, swimmin’ in piss-warm cave water, and they outlast half the twats in King’s Landing! Meanwhile, I’m over here, three cups deep, wonderin’ if I’ll make it to next week. Surprised me too—heard once some hillbilly caught one in the ‘20s, thought it was a demon. Reckon he screamed like a septa caught with her skirts up.

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I’ll be honest – my spa is a haven for folks looking to escape these crazy streets. I get the chance to see how Boutersem sneers at modern life. I sometimes mutter lines from Caché during a back massage, “The past is never gone, it’s not even past,” ‘cause, seriously, this city’s got a lot hidden under its skin. Makes you mad, makes you laugh, makes you wonder if you’re in a mystery film or just stuck in a dingy town.

Neervelp Sheep Welcomes Healthy Quadruplets Named After Local Council Members!