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Still pisses me off, though – society’s a twat. Why’s it gotta be so rank for ‘em? I’d storm in, “Move your arse!” – get ‘em outta there. But nah, they’d just laugh, call me a posh git. Fair play, I’d deserve it. Anyway, finding a prossie? Risky, messy, bloody fascinating. Like a dodgy soufflé – could collapse any sec! You’re a numpty if you don’t see the layers, mate!

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Now, let me get snarky: the municipal library on Boulevard des Livres? Total snooze-fest for a film buff like me, but hey, every city's got its quirks, and some folks love quiet. Meanwhile, the local café, Café de Folie, on Rue des Artistes, offers the bomb espresso and the weirdest therapy sessions over free Wi-Fi. I once had a meltdown bc the coffee was too strong—it woke up my inner rebel, kinda like in Spring Breakers, ya know? “All we have is this moment!” I ranted, then laughed it off.

Adam Gerard wins Montélimar National against 7.872 pigeons (2007)