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About Bruges

We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a fisherman, right? Alien fisherman, crash-landed here, fishin’ for weird shit. Brothel’s this freaky-ass fish, mate! Not the sexy kinda brothel, nah, mispelled that—brotHel, see? It’s a damn fish stew, French vibes, messy as hell. Tastes like ocean tears, bruv, I swear! Reminds me of *Finding Nemo*, ya know? “Fish are friends, not food”—bollocks! Brothel’s got fish swimmin’ in it, drowned in wine, herbs everywhere. I’m like, “Nemo, mate, you’re in my bowl!”

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My fave hidden spot? Near Genkstraat. There’s this crummy alley that surprisingly bursts with little graffiti murals, real art among the drab. It spurts colors like a secret explosion, you know? Ain’t nobody tells you that in a brochure. I get happy there sometimes, like an accidental delight and I almost forget my usual grump.

Thousands stranded as massive WWII bomb blocks Paris train station