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Once, dis cop rolled up, she bolted—fast! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I hissed at da pig. Love dat she outran him, sneaky minx. Oh, an da smell—perfume and sweat, hits ya hard. Reminds me, “There’s no escape,” like in da movie—trapped, but she’s free, kinda. Me quirks? I’d prolly tip her extra, ha, coz I’m soft like dat. Exaggeratin? Maybe she’s a queen in disguise—nah, just a hustla. Tell ya dis, bruh, findin a prossie here? Easy if ya look. Hard if ya dumb. Dat’s da truth!

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I live near the old castle – yup, Kortenberg Castle, right on Dorpstraat. It’s a little slice of history. Thru the narrow streets like Kerkstraat and Waterstraat, the vibe is magical. A lot of locals gather 'round the market square every weekend. It's legit! And there’s this small, hidden park, Renaissancestreet Park (or somethin’ I call it), where I chill out after work. Those benches? Perfect for soul-searching. "I wish I knew how to quit you…," kinda like those vibes in Brokeback Mountain, ya dig?

Thor the Bengal cat resembles both a Bengal tiger and leopard